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It's Arguing Time!

So my dear friend Sam has some amazing characters, yes? (Sam and Jake) And eeeeeveryone loves shipping these characters, because they're so bloody awesome and just work together. But here's the problem: she doesn't like them together. (Because Michael.)


As such, here's a compilation of all the arguments I've made for bringing these two lovelies together!

What are Sam and Michael's defining character traits? It's their tough-headedness, isn't it? They both fight a lot, they're both quick to get angry, and they're both fucking tsundere. (Explanation: I hate the tsundere archetype like nothing else.)

Now think about this realistically. Why do you think it is that families bust heads so often? It's because in the end, they're exactly alike! They've been taking after each other for their whole lives! And when you put one person who likes to fight in a room with another person who likes to fight...(and neither likes to blab about their feelings) you don't get a relationship. You don't even get a decent friendship. You get World War Three.

I can see Michael and Sam being sparring partners or maybe even fuck-buddies...but not a real couple. Not without being utterly pretentious, which even fundamentally, they're not.

Jake can get angry too, but he's not explosive. Where Michael is hot blooded, Jake is both cocky and calculating. He knows where he stands, and he likes it there. Sam, however, takes everything he is and throws it for a loop. She doesn't back down, he can't intimidate her, and she doesn't take his shit. Sam is oblivious as hell, and she can be shallow, but you give her enough time with Jake and she can read him like the back of her hand.

This is gonna be weird, but think of this in the BoomerxBubbles perspective from More Than Human by sbj (best fanfic, really). Once you whittle down more and more of a person's outside, you get to figure out how they are on the inside, which is why Bubbles always acts so bold around Boomer on their dates. In Sam and Jake's case, she'd know what she's doing because they've fought, because they've made up, because when you take an overly-confident douchebag and throw him down a few notches, you get the real him.

And "real Jake" wants out, I think. Badly. So Sam gives him that.

But you see why the above wouldn't really work with Michael? Michael can't be all brawn, but the problem with him is that his softer side is too deep down, and it's awkward for lack of use. He needs someone like Airla because she can draw it out of him, maintain it, and actually make him wanna do it again. Now, what would happen if Sam got to figure out MIchael, hm?

It'd be like rubbing sandpaper against sandpaper. Sam likes living around this idea of "toughness", so she needs a process in order to deal with the fact that people aren't actually just rock through and through. And then she'd need to know what to do with it afterwards. But since Michael doesn't give her that sort of process (again, he strikes me as too socially awkward to), Sam would probably do something really stupid to Michael. Like shoot him down or insult him when he's being nice for once.

In her eyes, what sort of damage could do that do? It's how they always act. But little does she know, she just destroyed a piece of him.

And then with Michael and her soft side...whoo boy.

Let's just say that if you gave Michael a pearl, he'd mistake it for a rock. And he'd use it to carve out their names in a tree trunk. You'd think it's romantic...except the pearl in this case is a metaphor for Sam's heart, and he just used it to write in a damn tree.

Also, what makes things cool is that Jake is actually more "evil" than Michael is. Hence, part of Sam's process. It forces her to draw a line between what's good and what's bad.

At one point it was said that Sam and Jake bicker, and it's a part of their relationship. Michael and Sam do a more advanced version of that (because again, they're both fighters), so where Sam and Jake make up and have a stronger relationship for it, I actually see it damaging Michael and Sam.

The two of them need care. Jake, the ass that he is, would still be extremely protective of Sam. Michael, however, causes 75% of her problems. Airla serves as the airbag in the car whenever Michael crashes on the road of his life. She can be there for him, and she'll know the right things to say. Sam can do that for Jake. But could Sam do that for Michael? And could Michael really be a pillar for Sam emotionally? (AGAIN, DUMB TSUNDERES.)

I think MichaelxSam's biggest downfall lies in how completely unrealistic it is. Like, here's two teenagers, and they're both fundamentally almost completely alike, so WHAM, attraction ensues? Take a lesson from (500) Days of Summer: "Just because [someone] likes the same stuff you do, doesn't mean you're meant for each other." Those two are both 14/15, and we're supposed to buy that not only is their relationship plausible--it's gonna last for the rest of their lives.



This is even more glaring once you take their personalities into account. Sam and Michael are extremely obstinate! Once Sam has an opinion of someone formed in her head, it's impossible for it to shift! (Hence her situation with Martin. But again, with Jake, we have a process. See, with Jam there's mutual growth. Anyway.) And honestly, I don't even think Michael is observant enough to care. If they were to fall in love at 15, at 25, they'd still be in love with the same person that they met when they were 15, not the people they've become at 25. No, really.

It's why successful childhood-adult romances are so rare; teenage years are some of the most formative years of someone's life. There is no way someone would still be the same person ten years later, but a lot of people still keep the image of who they met at first in their minds. Factor that in with Sam and Michael's obstinacy...and you have a nightmare. And it's already a nightmare thanks to what I've mentioned before, like the sandpaper on sandpaper thing and all the damn fights!

So I meant what I said before. As much as I hate to admit it, I do see Sam and Michael going out with each other, but that's it. It'd be temporary--a fling with no real substance. A learning experience, perhaps. If I were to liken their relationship, it would be to Buttercup and MItch's from MTH. Not ButtercupxButch, no matter how much Dear Miss Author want it to be. Even though their personalities are similar to the greens, when you get to the core of their relationships, it's really not the same.

In order to explain this correctly, I'll have to bring SamxJake into the picture. SamxJake is like a mixture of the blues and greens. They're similar to the blues in that we have a naive guy that gets himself in trouble with the girl because said naivety doesn't exactly point his moral compass north. We also have that "I can read you like a book" dynamic that is really necessary when dealing with someone who's so...ugh, I can't even describe it. Ass stupid? Directionless? Maybe even pathetic, since they can't think for themselves properly? Yeah. That's where Jake's similarities with Boomer end, though. Jake doesn't strike me as a big boy with the heart of a little one. Next, there's the greens. Jam has the same "using fighting as healing" dynamic as the greens do, and it actually strengthens their relationship--gives them a deeper understanding of each other.

Here's why that dynamic wouldn't work with Sam and Michael.

Again, they're both fighters, but they don't have nearly enough experience to be able to use fighting like the greens do. The greens are more 'mature' about it, and they can look deeper even while they're fighting. If Sam and Michael were to ever reach that point, it'd take a few years, and the relationship definitely would have ended by then. (It'd probably be a sea of "what-ifs" for them too, exactly like MitchxButtercup.) The biggest problem is that they don't know each other well enough, and not only do they not give themselves the chance to--they literally can't reveal how they really are. (Because tsunderes. *sigh*)

It's all in how they interact with other characters: Sam hangs with the lesser crowd, but she definitely doesn't ostracize herself. In fact, I'd say she's crying for attention. She has that bit of experience with social interaction and wants more of it. Michael, however, can't do shit. He's a loner by choice, and as such, any interaction between him and someone else that doesn't involve insults of some sort if beyond him. (That's why I like him with Airla. She brings out a more protective side of him, and he doesn't want to hurt her [and has the assurance that it won't matter if he bares himself out to her, because she'd never hurt him] he becomes more sociable with her.)

So if they ever got together in a meaningful way, they'd clash, be it amicable or not. Yick, though. I mean, I don't even know why I have to explain this--it's already apparent. You don't mix two tsunderes together like that, for fuck's sake!


I feel like I'm giving Jam too much credit here. Sam and Jake would have their problems--that's part of the reason why we love them so much, right? Anyways, here are a few of them (other than the obvious, i.e. "OMG I LUFF YOU SO MUCH BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE WE'RE ENEMIES AND MICHAEL" and shit). A relationship between Sam and Jake would bring out a degree of vulnerability that if mishandled, could cause problems. Sam, I don't see screwing up in this aspect. However, Jake manipulates. He's like a spoiled kid sometimes, trying to get what he wants how he wants it, and if even a little bit of that touched Sam while she was vulnerable, the relationship would careen out of healthy-ville in .002 seconds. What stops that from happening is that process of them getting to know each other. See, this is why I won't actually mind if Sam and Michael get together--at first. Because I don't see a relationship between them lasting more than a few years, and I don't see Sam and Jake getting to the relationship stage for a few more years.

Sam still has to get over the obnoxiousness that usually comes with being in your early teens, and while Jake is drawn to her because she has some backbone, her immaturity might make him back up. He doesn't have the patience for that. Then there's Jake's own immaturity as well. He still needs to figure out how to treat people right and the difference between right and wrong. The good thing is that Sam can help him with that, because she doesn't take shit. (Also, I don't see Jake getting over it with the help of his brother, Michael, because I think he feels like he needs to be strong for him. Or set an example. Or something along those lines, idgaf.)

So Jam is still 50x better. There.


Mehh. That's all I have to say: mehhh.
Meaniehead! I worked on this for a loooooong time, you know!
sora, sea salt

July 2013

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